Akatsuki Amuesment Park for the Criminally Insane
by Nallux
Summary: World Domination through an amuesment park? This can't last long...


**This is a crack fiction I thought of while playing RCT2(Roller coaster Tycoon 2) Bear with me.**

* * *

"This is unfucking believable!" Sasuke yelled and threw down the broom he was holding. Naruto was walking in circles around his broom.

Sakura sighed and nodded in agreement. "I didn't think the Akatsuki would something so...so..."

"Ridiculous." Ino, Shikamaru, Tenten, and Neji all finished.

Tsunade walked over, Jiraya right next to her. "You guys shouldn't be complaining!" Jiraya yelled.

Tsunade nodded. "At least you don't have to walk around in a silly animal costume and entertain people! I need some sake..."

Hinata stood near Chouji, pointing her index fingers together. "At least you guys can work together. Me and Chouji are all alone..." She said.

Chouji was munching on some chips. "I'm not complaining! They give me free food!"

Lee suddenly appeared. "I shall fix every ride here, and if I cannot do that, then I will destroy this place and rebuild it!" He yelled.

The group fell silent, then sighed.

Pein, the leader of the Akatsuki, stood nearby, arms folded across his chest and laughing heartily and their pain. "Forget world domination, I now have a full staff to run my life-long dream!" He laughed some more.

Konan looked over at him, a small paper roller coaster in her hand. "An amuesment park has been your life-long dream?"

* * *

The rest of the Akatsuki stood in their usual pairs at the entrance, looking with disbelief at the place that their leader had built.

"Akatsuki Amuesment Park for the Criminally Insane?" Kisame said. "How touching..."

"Is Leader-sama making fun of us, Deidara-sempai?" Tobi screeched.

Deidara patted him on the head and smiled sweetly. "No, my dearest Tobi! Just you."

"I fucking want cotton candy!" Hidan yelled like a little girl. Well, a rather derranged little girl.

Sasori looked over at Deidara and Tobi. "Deidara..." He said, slightly tearing.

Kakuzu looked at them. "Would you pay me to film your love life with Tobi and Sasori, Deidara?" he asked.

Zetsu smiled. "I want to ride the ferris wheel. **no! We'll go on the minigolf course! ... and eat all the balls!" **

Kisame looked at Itachi, who remained stoic the entire time. "Any input, Itachi-chan?"

"..."

The group watched him.

"Let's have oodles of fun here!" He suddenly yelled, jumping up.

The group went wide-eyed at the normally stoic man. He smiled and took off in zig-zag patterns into the park, deeply resembling Tobi.

Kisame smiled. "Awwwww!" He sniffed and wiped a stray tear. "They grow up so fast!" And he took off into the park as well.

"Hey, Fucker! Let's get cotton candy!" Hidan yelled and grabbed Kakuzu's wrist and running foreward...only, Kakuzu hadn't moved.

Deidara turned to Sasori and held out his hand. "Let's have fun. Together!" He yelled as him and Sasori skipped towards a ride for couples.

Kakuzu looked at the remaining Akatsuki. Zetsu had taken off, probably towards the mini golf course and Tobi had taken to sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth.

"Tobi is a good boy, but Tobi does not know what to do first." He looked around then up to Kakuzu. "What does Kakuzu-sempai want to do first?" He asked.

"Kakuzu wants to go find Hidan and steal his cotton candy." He said.

Tobi chuckled. "Tobi wants a balloon!" He screeched and ran to the nearest balloon stall.

Kisame found Itachi at a spinning tea-cup ride, hands in the air and biggest smile on his face. Kisame looked at him and then something caught his eye.

Swan-shape peddeling boats. He smiled. "Yay!" He said and skipped to the boats.

Hidan was holding Kakuzu's hand in one hand and a green cotton candy in the other. He was staring at a certain group of people.

"No fucking way!" He said and started laughing hysterically.

Sakura walked up to him and took his cotton candy. She walked over to a roller coaster and put it in between the two wooden tracks. "Go get it, bitch!" She yelled.

Hidan ran after his snack and once he grabbed it, the coaster came by and decapitated him.

Pein walked up to the Konoha staff. "To work with you! My park shall be the best in the world!" He yelled and the group dispersed.

Konan now had an oragami ferris wheel. "So in a sense, you still do wanna take over the world."

"My fine blue-haired lass! go and enjoy the wonders this park has to offer!" Pein yelled.

Konan looked around. "I think I'll just go on the Merry-go-round." she said and walked off calmly.

Pein walked happily down the path and came across Tobi who was carrying every kind of souvenier, four different colored balloons, two cups of coffee, a box of doughnuts and a lollipop.

"Well, Tobi-or should I say Madara- isn't this better than world domination?"

The masked fellow cocked his head and took off the mask. "What are you talking about, yeah? This mask was complementary with the pirate ship!" Deidara yelled. "Is Tobi Madara Uchiha?" Deidara yelled.

Pein laughed. "Why of course he is, my blonde dumbass!"

("Who're you callin' a blonde dumbass?" Ino muttered under her breath as she marched past with a tool box.)

Deidara began to tear up and dropped all his stuff. He buried his head in his hands and bawled. "My sweet Tobi is an old man!"

Pein looked down at the sobbing blonde, then around, and turned on his heel and walked away, whistling nonchalantly.

Zetsu was at the golf course...eating all the balls...

"**Excuse me miss, I lost my exchange balls. Care to give me more?" **

The woman, was actually Sasuke. "You dumbass! I'm a janitor!"

**"Care to clean my balls then?" ** he asked, holding out two green golf balls, but was smirking sadistically.

"Fuck off, plant man!" Sasuke yelled and swept a pair of pants off the floor.

Nearby...

"So, you're telling me, with this little red machine, you can mow grass?" Sasori asked the small pearl-eyes girl.

"Uh...yes?" She asked.

Sasori nodded and looked at the machine, then at Hinata. "Mow grass?" He asked, nodding.

Hinata looked from side to side, starting to wonder what he was doing. "Yes. Mowing grass."

"Interesting." he fell silent. "So, with this device, the grass can be shortened? To the desired length?"

Hinata actually glared. "No. It doesn't! It eats the grass and if you don't get out of here it'll eat you too!" She yelled.

Sasori ran and hid behind the nearest bench. Hinata grumbled and turned back to the lawn mower.

"It shaves the grass?"

Hinata then roared, lifted the lawn mower and chased Sasori down the path.

Naruto and Neji stood nearby, eyes wide with horror.

"That... was the most horrorfying thing... I've ever seen." Naruto said.

Neji nodded in agreement.

"E-excuse me, miss, but how many more times are you going to ride the merry-go-round?"

Konan glared at the ride attendant, Asuma. "Is there a problem?" She asked.

He held his hands up defensively. "N-No, miss. Just, uh... most people tend to get sick and/or dizzy after riding 36 times."

Konan glared at him. "I will paper cut you to death..." She said.

Asuma laughed nervously. "Actually, ride as much as you want!" He said and startd the ride again.

At an ice-cream stall...

Itachi reached up and took the ice-cream he bought from a smiling Kakashi and took off, smiling like a child. Tenten looked at him.

"Kakashi? What are you doing here? Were you captured as well?" She asked.

Kakashi laughed. "No, NineNine. I volenteered! I love making people smile." He said, a dreamy expression cam over his face.

"My name is Tenten, Kakashi."

"Oh, Sixsix! You are such a simpleton! Here. Have this joint. It's fabuolous!"

Tenten looked at the joint in his hand. "Kakashi, I think you should lay off the pot..."

"Oh, quit being jealous, HenHen, of my lushious hair!" He said and ran a hand through his silver hair.

Tenten nodded. "Ok then..." She said and walked away.

Tobi practically fell off the platform to the roller coaster as he left the ride. "That was fun! Tobi is a good boy, so Tobi will ride it again!" He yelled and ran back to the que line.

Nearby, Shino and Kiba were cleaning up the mess Hidan made in the food court.

"This is dog's work!" Shino muttered.

"Can't the bugs just take care of this?" Kiba annoyedly said.

Both stopped their task and looked at each other.

"Got something against dogs, jitterbug?" Kiba asked.

"Only if you have something against bugs, mutt." Shino retorted.

They each grabbed their broom and started attacking each other with them. A giant man in a panda costume walked over. "Friends, let's not fight! We must work together to make this park wonderful."

"Who the hell are you?" Kiba asked.

The man took off the panda helmet mask thing and Orochimaru smiled at them. "Don't fight. Get along nicely."

Meanwhile, at the entrance...

Karin looked to Suigetsu, who looked to Juugo.

"Are we criminally insane enough to be in this amuesment park?" Karin asked.

Juugo shrugged. "All depends on point of view I suppose."

At that precise moment, Zetsu came skipping by, Sasuke running after him. Murderous intent in his eyes as he charged at Zetsu with a broom.

Karin's eyes turned into giant hearts. "SAAASSSSSKKAAAHHH-KKKKUUUNNN!" She yelled and charged after him.

Suigetsu looked at Juugo. "I'd say she's definately insane enough to be here."

Pein sighed as he marched through his park. "Well... Time to put my plan into effect..."

He walked up a nearby hill outside of his park and looked down at people laughing. "How oblivious!" He laughed.

"Who's oblivious?" Konan asked, appearing randomly behind him.

"The fools of the Akatsuki of course! I'm going to kill them and resart from scratch!" He said and walked over to a dynamite box with a red lever.

Konan tilted her head to the side. "Wasn't the whole purpose of the Akatsuki to catch the Bijuu?" She wondered. "If he blows it up, Naruto will be killed..."

Pein smirked and pressed the red lever down and watched as the park exploded. He started laughing. Konan was holding a small paper coffin. "I'll miss them...just a little." She turned and walked away.

Pein sighed. "Well! Back to world domination." He said and walke away.

Meanwhile somewhere in the amuesment park, on the teacup ride...

Itachi sat there, covered in dirt, debris, and dust. He looked with a saddened expression on his face, but it quickly fadded, and was replaced by a look of malice.

"Whoever stopped my ride right in the middle SHALL DIE FOUR THOUSAND DEATHS!"

* * *

=^.^=


End file.
